


I don't want to be alone

by yeehaaaaw3742



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Sad Peter Parker, Sweet Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29059494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeehaaaaw3742/pseuds/yeehaaaaw3742
Summary: After the death of May Parker, Peter moves into the Tower and has a hard time recovering from her passing. He has a nightmare that freaks him out and he has to go make sure it wasn't real when he accidentally knocks on the wrong door.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Peter Parker
Kudos: 123





	I don't want to be alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is just a quick WinterSpider sad fluff I wanted to put out there.
> 
> This is my first time trying to write something sad so sorry in advance :P

Peter was one of the last people to leave the gravesite. May had passed away from Leukemia and Peter knew she would have wanted a beautiful funeral. And it was, it was gorgeous. The color of the flowers matched Mays personality, the outfit she was buried in was her favorite dress, Peter thought she looked beautiful and finally at peace.

When Mr. Stark found out about May's passing, he payed for the funeral because he knew it would mean a lot to Peter. Of course Peter had just turned 18 so he also didn't have any money. Everyone he knew came to pay their respects. Ned, Mj, Mr. Delmar, many many of May's friends from her work, some of their neighbors, and Mr. Stark who was accompanied by Pepper and Steve. Tony knew if he brought the entire team Peter would get overwhelmed and he wouldn't like them seeing him like this. Peter was broken but he held it together at the church and and graveyard until every had left.

That's when the first set of tears fell from his eyes. He stared at where his aunt who was also one of his best friends layer under 6 feet of dirt. He sobbed all the way home, which was not going to be his home anymore. Peter doesn't have a job so he has to move out of the apartment. He can't pay the bills for it and maintain his sanity. When Peter opened the door to his apartment, Mr. Stark and Happy were carrying the last of some boxes out. Peter looked around confused. "Mr. Stark?" Tony stops and turns to Peter in the doorway, red eyed from crying. Tony places the box down and walks over to Peter, not saying anything and pulls him into a hug. Peter breaks down again in his arms, clinging to him.

Happy feels like he should leave them be and places Starks box on top of his and slips past the two and goes down to the car. "This can't be real, she can't be gone" Peter whimpers as more tears fall from his face. Tony places on hand on the back of Peters head, the other around his shoulders. "I'm sorry Pete" Tony doesn't say anything else cause the boys already sad as it is. "You can't stay here Peter, May told me if anything happened to her that I would watch over you so I have a room for you at the Tower already made buddy. Me and Happy packed up all your things while you were still there so you wouldn't have too." Peter nods and frowns. "I don't want to intrude" He mumbles and Tony scoffs. "Kid you could never, I have Sam and Clint living in the Tower, now that's intruding." Peter chuckles and Tony smiles to himself.

"Can i look around one more time before we leave?" Peter asks as he releases from Tony's hug. "Yeah, take as long as you need." Tony smiles at Peter one more time before walking out of his apartment and down to the car. Peter sighs and turns around, looking at the apartment he grew up in. It's lost it's color, it's all dull now. May made it full of light. Everywhere Peter looks a different memory of May and him, sometimes Ben too when he was real little, plays in his head. Making him smile at the memory but tear up even more. He walks from the living room, to the kitchen, to his old room, and finally May's. He looks at the framed picture of him and May at the Zoo when he was 10 years old. They're both smiling the biggest smiles to the camera. Peter picks up the picture and looks at it again before holding it in his hand and taking one last look around his apartment before leaving it forever.

He slowly walks down the stairs to the car. When he gets there, Tony is in the back and Happy is driving. Tony opens the door for Peter and Peter quietly slips in the car, not wanting to talk. Tony can sense it and doesn't speak to him, just rubs his shoulder as Happy drives back to the Tower.

When they get to the Tower, Tony and Peter head up to the main floor. Happy stays back to get some guys to bring up Peters stuff with him. When they exit the elevator, Pepper is walking towards it. She stops and gives Peter a hug, telling him she's always here for him. Tony smiles at his wife's kindness. Peter thanks her quietly and she understands that he's still upset. She says her goodbyes to the men and enters the elevator. Peter and Tony continue to walk to his new room.

Tony leads him through the lounge area and down the hall to the room at the end. He opens the door and Peter walks in and looks around. It's a very nice room. The walls are white with navy curtains and the same looking comforter he had in his old room, except for a queen instead of a twin size bed. "Happy will have your stuff up in a bit, i hope you like it. You're welcome to anything in this Tower, this is your home now." Peter smiles at Tony softly. "Thank you for everything. I'm sorry if i don't seem as grateful at the moment but i truly am." Tony shakes his head. "I know kid, you take as long as you need to mourn and do whatever you need to feel better. Just know we all care for you here." Peter nods and Tony leaves Peters room to let him get use to it. Peter sits on his bed looks around.

He decides to take a shower for the time begin. He gets undressed and hops in, taking a 30 minute shower. When Peter leaves his bathroom, he noticed a bunch of boxes in the floor. Happy must have brought them when he was in the shower. Bless the man.

Peter opens the boxes with his clothes in it and changes into some sweat pants and a science pun shirt and starts un boxing everything. He puts all of his clothes in the new spots in his dresser and closet. He plugs his phone charger in the outlet beside his bed before laying on it, checking the time. 9:00 pm. That took longer than expected. He's been here since 7:00. Peter decided to go to sleep.

The next month was especially hard for Peter. Getting use to not having May around. The first two weeks he only left his room to get food, and wouldn't speak to anyone. No one was upset with him though, it's hard loosing someone. During the 3rd and 4th week, Peter had started going to the gym downstairs during the middle of the night. He let all his sadness and anger out on the punching bags or he'll just run until his legs almost give away.

Today Peter woke up at 10:30 and sat up, stretching. He winced when he stretched his legs because of how sore they were from that night. He ran and did some squats because you can never skip leg day, even sad. He rolled out of his bed and quietly opens his door and walked to the kitchen.

Peter makes a bowl of cereal and grabs two oranges and begins to head back to his room when Tony and Steve come walking into the kitchen. "Hey Pete" Tony ruffles Peters hair and walks to the coffee machine. Steve smiles at Peter and sits down on a barstool. "Good morning"

Peter smiles for the first time in almost a month at the two. "morning" Peter decided to sit beside Steve instead of going back to his room. "how have you been?" Steve lowers his voice as he noticed Peter sit beside him. "It's been hard, but i'm getting better. It's not like i'm sad all the time like i use to be. It's more like every now and then." Steve nods and places his hand on Peters shoulder and squeezes it. "Peter i have some new updates for your suit if you want to stop by the lab. It doesn't matter when really, that's where i usually am. Besides Pepper said there isn't any meeting for a while, thank god" He mumbles the last part, making Peter snort. "Alright, i'll probably come by tomorrow" Tony nods and downs another cup of coffee as Peter finished his cereal and oranges. The three men have a conversation during this time, talking about random stuff when Natasha, Wanda, and Clint come into the kitchen.

"PETERRRRR" Wanda squeals and runs around the island and hugs Peter over his shoulder. "I missed you!!" Peter smiles and turns in his chair and gives Wanda a proper hug. "I missed you too" He says to her. Everyone smiles at the two younger Avengers. They formed a sibling like bond over the last year from spending time together during missions and around the Tower.

"Hey where's Bucky?" Steve asks the two spys in the kitchen, taking their attention away from Peter and Wanda, who are having a small conversation. Peter knew Bucky was here, but he thought he left at some point because he never saw him around the tower. Well, when he wasn't in his room. "I think he's still sleeping" Clint laughs, "man could sleep for days and still be tired" Steve agrees with Clint and says his goodbyes, saying he's going to go bother Bucky. Peter turns his attention back to Wanda who's telling him about her and Visions relationship.

TIME SKIP, THAT NIGHT.

Peter woke up around 2:30 gasping for air. He has had nightmares before, but recently they've become more frequent. This one was the worst. Tony and Wanda had died and their final words to Peter was "why didn't you save me" from Wanda and "i trusted you, and you failed me yet again" from Tony. It then flashes to all the other Avengers dead. It was all Peters fault. The dark figure above the bodies told him that.

Anxiety and panic set through Peters body, making his chest tighten and tears from in his eyes. He also hadn't had a panic attack from a dream in forever. Peter struggles to climb out of his bed and to his door. He had to make sure their okay, Tony and Wanda. "Peter i suggest you sit down and calm down" FRIDAY says. "NO n-no i have to make sure they're okay"

"Who?"

Peter doesn't respond and opens his door and quickly runs down the hall to Wanda's room. He bangs on the door a couple times and waits. His breathing starts to slow down when he hears shuffling from behind the door, tears are still free falling from his eyes though. 'She's alright', he thinks to himself. The doors open and it is in fact not Wanda.

Peter knocked on Bucky Barnes door instead.

Bucky opened the door and looked at Peter with a angry face until he realized Peter was upset. His face changed to a concerned look. "Peter are you alright?" The way Bucky's voice sounded when he asked that question made Peter break down in front of the man. Many people have asked him if he's okay but no one has really sounded his concerned and caring for his well being. It felt like Bucky was asking Peter about himself personally rather than about the situation with May.

Peter shakes his head and his hands come up and cover his face. Bucky takes this time to softly grab Peters forearm with his real hand and pull him into his room. "I-i'm sorry for waking you up. I had a nightmare and I needed to make sure she was okay and I thought this was Wanda's room." Bucky sits Peter down on the side of his bed and he sits beside him. There's about 8 inches between the two. Bucky doesn't want to smother the boy in case he starts freaking out again. "What happened" Bucky asked. Steve had done this with him many times and it sometimes made him feel better.

Peter tells Bucky what happened in the nightmare and starts breaking down again. Bucky this time stands up and pulls Peter with him. He wraps his arms around Peters waist and hold him. Peter whimpers and quietly wraps his arms around Bucky's neck, tears falling from his face and onto Bucky's chest. Bucky rubs up and down Peters back as he sobs into his shoulder. "I'm just so tired of feeling alone. It feels like ever since she's been gone I've had no one that understands me like she did. She could read me like a book and always knew how to make things better. Damn it she knew I was gay before I did," Peter tries to make light of the situation but anther sob comes out of his mouth instead, making Bucky wrap his arms tighter around his waist, his head laying on top of Peters. Bucky felt what Peter said though, Steve told him the same thing when Bucky finally came out to him as Bisexual. Steve was like 'oh i knew' and Bucky didn't talk to him for a week because of the stress Bucky felt before hand.

"I miss her so much" Peter sadly whines. Bucky's heart breaks from the sound of the boys voice. He truly sounds like he's in pain. "I know you've heard this about 100 times, but i'm so sorry. I know what it's like to feel alone all the time and it fucking sucks." Peter sniffles and looks up at him, "you do? but what about Steve? and Sam?" Bucky almost coos at his big for eyes looking at up with tears in them still. "Well yes they have been very good to me, but i still feel alone sometimes you know? Its hard to explain but that's enough about me. Let's talk about you" Bucky tries to change the topic and distract Peter so he isn't thinking about his nightmare anymore. "What about me?"

"Anything pretty boy" Peter blushes at the comment and almost goes weak in the knees. There's no way Bucky just called him that. "Oh um.... well I just turned 18 so i'm now a legal adult." Bucky pretends to cheer as Peter sits back down on the bed, Bucky beside him closer than before. Their thighs are touching. "Me and my friend Ned stayed up the whole night celebrating. We watched movies, build some cool ass legos, ate food, and snuck some of his moms wine for the occasion." Peter giggles at the memory while Bucky is trying to figure out what Legos are.

The two talked for about 2 hours getting very comfortable around each other and talked like they knew each other for years. Peter felt so safe and cared for around Bucky. Peter then started to get sleepy. "Hey Petey, I think it's time for you to go back to sleep, you seem tired." Bucky wraps his arm around Peters shoulders after his head started to fall on Buckys. "B-but i don't want to be alone" Peter almost starts crying again from the thought. Bucky notices and quickly tries to make him not sad.

"Hey hey don't cry okay?" He coos this time, "how about I let you stay here okay? You can stay in here with me anytime you like actually. I don't mind at all." Bucky holds Peter's face in his hands and rubs his thumbs along his cheekbones. Peter smiles sleepily at him and holds his arms out. Bucky rolls his eyes and groans. "you're joking right?" Peter shakes his head no and starts making grabby hands at Bucky. Bucky sighs and easily picks Peter up who wraps himself around Bucky like a koala with his legs around his waist and arms around his neck, laying his head on his shoulder. Bucky smiles at the pretty boy and climbs into his bed, bringing Peter with him. Peter doesn't unwrap from Bucky as he lays on his side, he actually moves even closer. Bucky wraps his arms around Peters torso and smiles. Both of them don't feel as alone as they usually do at the moment. It's like they fill each other's loneliness.

Peter begins to fall asleep as Bucky moves one of his hands up and into Peters hair, running his hand through it as he himself started to fall asleep as well.

THE NEXT MORNING.

Steve walks into Bucky's room like usual without knocking and almost falls over at the sight in front of him. He quickly runs and gets Tony, and they both walk back to Bucky's room.

The two look at Peter and Bucky cuddling in his bed and both quietly 'aww' to themselves. Peter shifts a little in his sleep and both freeze, praying they didn't wake him up, thankfully they didn't. Peter just snuggled closer to Bucky's chest. Tony giggles like a school girls as he whispers to FRIDAY "take a picture and save it to 'robocop's blackmail'". Steve face palms and leaves Bucky's room, Tony following. They're both glad they found someone who can help each other, understand, and be there for each other at all times.

Peter quietly snores at the door shuts, leaving them both alone in each other's embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)


End file.
